Selfish
by PetPetAngel
Summary: Yaoi! YY x Y! ONE-SHOT! Yami is back in his memory world, reunited with his past, but he's finding it a lot harder to let go of Yugi and his memories of him. Yugi, too, is struggling with this tremendous loss, but there is hope in the darkness...
1. Default Chapter

PetPetAngel: Hi folks, how ya all doing? Hope you're doing okay. Me? You ask? (Or not.) Here, in my lonely, cold room, I, am dying of homework and a severe traumatic case of Boredom. Don't come near me, I'm insane. But then again, I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

This is another Yami x Yugi Fic, but it's a bit different than what I usually write. Oh well. (shrugs) **_Well, to the folks who are reading "Ancient", I'm sorry that I haven't updated in ages, I'm having trouble making the Epilogue a decent length... I hope to have it up soon though, once I have time!_**

Trespasser: While we're young and I have the nerve to allow you all live?

PetPetAngel: Um... Yea...? Sure. Why not? **_Disclaimer so that you can get on with killing people in your Fic "Out of Order"? _**Oh I'm sorry, did I say that aloud? **_Well, read his Fic anyway._**

Trespasser: PetPetAngel does not own Yuugioh! Do you people not understand this? I sure hope you do!

**_This Fic is dedicated to Hikari-Dark-Side-08! I hope you like it! This is for being a good friend! (Muraii too!)_**

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Warnings: Yaoi/Slash/Shounen-ai, Spoilers, Fluff, Slight Angst, WAFF, Cliffhanger, um, yea?

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_Full Summary: ONE-SHOT! Yami, now returned to his memory world, and reunited with his past, is missing Yugi horribly. He's always on his mind, always lurking in his thoughts, and Yami's finding it a lot harder to adjust back to Ancient Egypt than he thought it would be. He keeps having flashbacks of all of the things that he and Yugi had gone through, and ends up falling apart all over again. _

_But he only thinks that he's being selfish._

_Little does he know, Yugi is in similar condition, his world no longer the same without his Sprit, and Yugi's now crying frequently. Memories, flashbacks, and tears. Tears, and tears, and tears and Yugi can't seem to stop crying. Because Yami isn't there, Yami left him. But then again... _

_He was just being selfish. _

-

Selfish

Written by:

PetPetAngel

-

Yami drummed his fingers lazily on his golden thrown, bored as bored could be. His advisors were droning, on and on and on. He couldn't focus on their voices, he just couldn't focus on anything except for one, single, solitary, thing. It was almost sad, almost. But Yami didn't think anyone could meet **him,** and not go away the same as the way they came.

Yugi.

Yugi Motou.

His Hikari.

And his secret love.

Yami couldn't believe how selfish he had been. How cruelly selfish he was to Yugi. He stole away his childhood, put his life at risk more times than he could remember, and to say the least, Yami was mad at himself. Yugi would've been disappointed to hear that he was upset. And for once, Yami could blame Yugi for two things.

One. For being too selfless. Doing so much for him, when he didn't mean a thing.

Two. For making Yami fall in love with him in the first place.

Now Yugi was all Yami could think about.

Yami had always been so sure of his choices. When he was seven, in his past life, which was now his current life, he knew already that he was fated to be Pharaoh. No complaints. When he was fifteen, he knew he was destined to do something great, and die for it. No excuses. When he was eleven, he knew his mother was to die, no denying it. He was always sure, that was the thing with Yami, he was a person that was always sure with his choices.

But then there was Yugi. His sweet little Hikari Yugi, the same and only Hikari that had turned his world completely upside down and around. Yami was never sure around Yugi, he was always hesitant, always unsure. Like when he was dueling Pegasus, he was so nervous when Yugi wanted to go out and play one more card, the card that won them the duel. And he had a right to be. That man, he overtaxed Yugi, and nearly killed him.

When he dueled Bakura, the mere mention that it would hurt Yugi to lose Ryou made him stop.

But it was the incident with Pegasus that scared him the most.

_Flashback _

_Yami's POV_

_That cheat! I seethed to myself. He overtaxed him! Overtaxed him! He knew that Yugi wouldn't make it another turn, and he had to attack! A second earlier, if Pegasus hadn't overtaxed him, Yugi would've been safe. But I'll focus on **him** later. I have more pressing things to tend to. _

_Like Yugi._

_I held him close to me, close because I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, because I didn't like what was going on. No... "I can no longer sense the presence of his young mind," I told myself numbly. "No! He- he can't be gone! He can't be!" My insides went cold. I felt a bone-chilling cold. I had always asked myself what that was, when someone says that they are chilled to the bone. Now I know. _

_And I horribly wish I didn't. _

_Bone chilling was not at all like how I expected it, how some people may see it as. It's a painful numbness that crawls all over you, consuming you. It is not in all actuality a cold that sinks to your bones, through your skin. No. Most certainly not. It's the horrid, scary, impression that bugs are walking on your skin, that millions of needles are poking you. _

_I hated it. _

_And even though I was feeling this, I was still being selfish._

_I still wanted him back._

_End Flashback_

And then there was the Orichalcos. The damned Orichalcos that stole Yugi from him.

_Flashback_

_Yami's POV_

_"Yugi? What are you doing here?" I asked. _

_"The seal only needs one of us, so I'm letting it take me instead."_

_"Yugi wait!"_

_Later_

_"It's not fair! It's not fair! It should've been me, not him! It should've been me!" _

_That night, I fell asleep. I was plagued with nightmares, and woke up frequently crying. Just crying and crying and crying. I still remembered how mad Rebecca was at me, and was crying. And then when we called Kaiba, how he laughed! Laughed! I felt like crying again, he shouldn't have known. I would've collapsed, done it gratefully, but then they would know that I was not okay. _

_And that's when I realized that I could never loose Yugi ever again. _

_End Flashback_

'You didn't loose him Yami, you left him.' Yami's shivered, and one of his advisors, and Seth, perched at his side, gave him a look, but he shrugged it off indifferently. Though that was not at all what he felt, indifference. Yami was being chilled to the bone again, and the warmth of the Egypt weather did nothing to help him. He shook his head, and realized he must've noncommittally responded to something when he heard someone grunt, and Seth then gave him a look of shock.

"What?" Yami asked. He didn't listen to the response.

Yami was being selfish again.

He wanted Yugi back, with him, in his arms.

He had promised to stay with him forever.

-

Yugi sat in his bed, listening to his CD player. All of his favorites. Yugi didn't hear them, a sinking numbness still not going away from after Yami left him. Yami was gone and gone and gone forever. Yugi was missing him. He needed him back, back and back. Occasionally, Yugi would hear some lyrics from one of the songs filter through his mind, and all of it didn't help.

_"I like the feel of your name on my lips..." _

A few moments of numbness.

_"I like the way your eyes dance when you laugh..."_

Again, a few more moments.

_"I love the way you love me..."_

Yugi frowned and felt the familiar feeling of tears prickling behind his eyes. Turning off his CD player, he took his headphones off, and buried his face into his pillow, feeling the tears beginning to stain his pillow in dark patterns. His voice was hoarse. His eyes were red from his tears. He wanted Yami's arms around him. He wanted Yami.

But he didn't want to be any more selfish. Yugi just couldn't help it.

He still remembered the conversation that he and Yami had in their minds.

_Flashback_

_Yugi's POV_

_We were standing in Yami's mind, and we had finally found the answers to all our questions, we had found Yami's past. I vaguely wished we didn't. This day was dreaded. But only by me, of course. _

_I was just being selfish, wanting to keep him here. _

_This wasn't his place, his time. He needed to be back there. Even though I didn't want him to be, not at all._

_((I'll never forget you Yugi,)) Yami told me softly. I nodded, my eyes narrowed slightly to hide my sadness, and to hold back my tears. _

_(I can't believe it's the end Yami... I can't believe it's over, and that....) I lowered my head. (That you'll be gone forever.) I didn't bother to hide my sadness anymore, I could tell he could feel it. (But... You... This isn't your time...) And suddenly I couldn't stop myself and I was hugging him tightly and I was crying and I felt like a helpless four-year-old child all over again. And you know what? He comforted me. _

_He didn't care I was acting like an idiot. _

_I was gripping the back of his shirt tightly, crying openly into his chest. He crushed me to his chest and buried his face in my hair, and suddenly I felt his shoulders shaking. Looking at him with puffy eyes, I noticed that he had tears streaming down his cheeks. And I was shocked. I'd hardly ever seen him cry before, if at all. But I just hugged him more tightly, consoling both he and myself._

_((I don't want to leave you Yugi,)) he whispered. ((I don't.... You mean so much to me.... You've become part of me, my soul, my heart.... But....)) He paused as a sob choked him. ((But I have to... It's my destiny.... I have to be there for my people.... For Egypt...)) _

_And then I was upset._

_I felt like asking him: 'What about me?!' But I didn't._

_That's too selfish._

_(I know Yami.... I know... But remember.... I'll always be with you, in your heart, in your mind, and in your thoughts..... I'll never forget you.... Even though I'm forced to let you go....) I choked on a sob. (Forever.... But it's too selfish of me to keep you here....) I never realized I had said that to him._

_((You're never selfish Aibou.... Never think you are...)) _

_(I'll miss you Yami....)_

_((Me too Yugi... Me too...))_

_End Flashback_

And that's what brought Yugi to his current situation. His heart ached, he hurt and ached. But that was his fault too. Yugi sobbed unconsciously harder, clutching his pillow to him, hugging it. "Why did you leave me Yami...? You promised to stay with me forever... You... You promised Yami..." Yugi's voice began to rise. "YOU SAID....! YOU SAID...." Yugi began sobbing more roughly into his pillow, and yelled in his mind:

**_(YOU PROMISED!_** **_YOU SAID THAT YOU'D PROTECT ME FOREVER! THAT YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME! YOU PROMISED!)_**

Yugi's voice began to break. (You promised Yami....) Yugi continued, not realizing that he was speaking through the supposedly broken mind link. (You said you'd never leave me...) Yugi then whispered in his mind... (I love you Yami...)

-

Yami's eyes widened as he heard Yugi's voice in his mind's eye. The voice was yelling, Yugi was mad. Yami assumed that that anger was directed at him. Tears stung his eyes all over again, and he tried to force them back. But the words continued harshly in his ears, and suddenly he began crying.

**_(YOU PROMISED! YOU SAID THAT YOU'D PROTECT ME FOREVER! THAT YOU WOULDN'T LEAVE ME! YOU PROMISED!)_**

(I love you Yami...)

And Yami ran from the room. Seth followed Yami, and the distressed Pharaoh could not speak to tell him to leave him alone. Yami ran to his chambers, and collapsed on the bed crying as though if his heart was broken and his life was over and it was all finished and hopeless and nothing was left.

That was exactly how he felt.

Seth walked in the room, and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "What bothers you my Pharaoh? What has caused you so much pain? Why are you like this? Who hurt you," the High Priest whispered. Seth used his Shadow Powers to get the answer, and his eyes glowed back as he was lost in Yami's recent memories.

_Flashback(s)_

_Yami and Yugi were talking in front of the game shop, and suddenly, Yami laughed and doubled over, as Yugi beside him chuckled madly. Yami placed a hand on Yugi's shoulder to steady himself, still chuckling. "Oh my Ra, Yugi...! Don't do that again!" _

_"You were the one who asked!" _

_"But I-" And then Yami was laughing again. The two walked inside, and the memory faded and was replaced with another one. _

_-_

_Yami and Yugi were in their room, Yami was reading, Yugi was doing homework. It seemed perfectly normal, and until Yami found that a pillow had happily been planted into his face. "Yugi!" He yelled, as he heard the sound of chuckling. He followed it. Finding the source had been lying on the couch, smiling widely, Yugi, the attacker said:_

_"Hey Yami, was your pillow nice 'n' fluffy?" _

_Yami advance threateningly on the teen on the couch, and Yugi let out a startled 'eep' as Yami began tickling him. His sides, his stomach, his neck, and anywhere else he could reach. "No fair Yami," was all Yugi got out before beginning to laugh and squirm helplessly. _

_"No fair, huh?" Yami said on top of Yugi. "Want to try to prove your innocence?"_

_"Noooo!!!" _

_"That's what I thought..." Yami trailed off, tickling Yugi again mercilessly._

_End Flashback(s) _

And that's all that Seth got to see before Yami pushed him forcibly out of his mind. "It's him... Who is he?"

"Yugi."

"Oh...." A pause. "Rest my Pharaoh, you seem to need it... Him... Oh, and my Pharaoh?"

"Yes Seth?"

"If you love something, let it go. If it returns, it's yours to keep."

Yami repeated this to Yugi, and he felt hope tingle in the back of his mind.

Maybe he wasn't being selfish after all.

-

PetPetAngel: Well? Was it good? Did you like it? I sure hope so. I worked hard on it, and for a long while, I was couldn't think of what to write about! Humph! Well, anyway, Read and Review, some constructive criticism wouldn't hurt either if you think that there's something wrong with it.

Trespasser: Ja Ne!


	2. Note From the Author

Regarded to All Readers Who Hate Me and my Ending:

Yes, I am quite aware of the ending, and how most probably won't like it. But you see, there's a reason that I ended it there. A reason that it's a cliffhanger, and a reason that it's so open to suggestions and ideas.This Fic was written because I felt that I wanted to leave hope. Hope that there could be more, hope that it's not over when everything seems finished and when hope is lost. When everything is gone, and this story is to tell you, that you're never alone.

_"If you love something, let it go. If it returns, it's yours to keep."_

_Yami repeated this to Yugi, and he felt hope tingle in the back of his mind._

_Maybe he wasn't being selfish after all._

Do you know why that is there?! To tell people, that there is light in the darkness, that no one, should ever give up hope...! It ends there, so that **_you_** can make your own ending! So that you can decide what's after that! If they meet again, die with their hope, I did that because I didn't want to disappoint you with my own ending!

I don't want to write something, and be told, "it's good, but not the way I would end it".I want you to decide what's after that. Whether that's the end of the line, whether it's all over, or whether there's much, much more. It's there, because I believe:

**_It's nevver the end; we never move on._**

Sincerely,

PetPetAngel


End file.
